.

LYRICS.
Be true
The Lord knows that I cannot make you
Be strong
In the times that I could not help you
To have kissed those lips
And to have touched those precious fingertips
Were you looking for love?
Or arms to rest in when times were tough?

I see you clearly
Our love grew and withered with no running
I got no peace
With a ghost haunting my memories
They say you can't have her
You do not want her
But if you catch her
You better start running

Well it's only you
That keeps me hanging onto things that I don't want to hang onto
Only you
That keeps me walking on a line, walking that fine line

Forget the past
I would have walked away but it hasn't happened yet
I keep giving second chances, breaking my heart for the sake of romance

I cannot have her
Why do I want her?
What is is about her that keeps me running?

Well it's only you
That keeps me hanging onto things that I don't want to hang onto
Only you
That keeps me walking on a line, walking that fine line
And what should I tell ya?
What should I do?
Cause there are questions in my head and no answers are shining through
Only you can keep me hanging onto things that I don't want to hang onto

Well it's only you
That keeps me hanging onto things that I don't want to hang onto
Only you
That keeps me walking on a line, walking that fine line
And what should I tell ya?
What should I do?
Cause there are questions in my head and no answers are shining through
Only you can keep me hanging onto things that I don't want to hang onto

.

Artist: Meursault
Song: What You Don't Have
Album: All Cratures Will Make Merry
Year: 2010


Lyrics:

It's not about what you don't have
It's the little that you're given and how far you can run with it
It's not about what you don't have
Will meet me tonight in your rags and your ribbons
It's not about what you don't have
And there will be no 'all or nothing' for us
It's not about what you don't have
Or the creeping regret that you could have done better

And you saw me
Dreaming on a world
That I wouldn't have lasted
More than five minutes in

Engrossed in Sabbatical

Kerouac said, "Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists in tact, in mind."

I've spent the last few years finding myself in photography and digital manipulation. I've always known a day would come, when photography-like painting and sculpting-would no longer be enough to satisfy my apparant, voracious need to...express myself. The time would come to move forward; in a ravenous search for this...enigma, lying somewhere hidden and untouched by my conscience mind, that can and will, finaly unshroud my place in this world. I know I'll find it. I just have to keep looking.
So, on to bigger and more exciting adventures. I'm still shooting for hard cash, so you can still book for the low key sessions. I'm not sure when, if ever, I'll return to photography as an art form.
I'll keep updated regaurdless.

Before u know it...

Haven is almost seven now. We were in the car the other day talking about trick or treating this year. The neighborhood we live in really goes for it. Every other house is a haunted house u have to go through to get the candy. I was suggesting we go to a nicer, quiter neighborhood but Haven insisted we go through the scary stuff this year.

She said "Halloween is about being scared. I'm not a baby anymore!"

flamingo

This tune is playing on serious rotation here at my desk, in my workspace. The whole album is stuck in my head like a good high. I could honestly go on and on about how the tones echoing and bellowing from this persons soul - hypnotize me into a very calm and deep and also peaceful and...marveled state. I am inspired over and over again on so many different levels when I listen to the music these people have shared. I often wonder if the people in these peoples lives, see the magic that i and many others, seem to see. It almost hurts to think about something so clenching. A really great song, a certain two seconds where the tones match up heavenly...I live for those moments in music.




This one isnt on the album (I dont think) but my mom likes this song and I do too.




The Killers Dustland fairytale - from Day and Age.


When you were young - From Sams Town.


Sams town - from Sams Town

Got me on the run

Just completed a collection from new session titled above. Subject shown is Jill liebisch. I actually had very different ideas for this session, but just couldn't make it work the way I envisioned it. It was something else and I couldn't figure it out. It waited in my files for a few weeks before I started really getting into it. At the same time I found the new brandon flowers 'flamingo' solo album.
I've been playing the crap out of this album. Like every killers album in the past, The more I play it, the more I enjoy it. I've danced with Bella to it. She seems to really enjoy 'Only the young'. It calms her. 'Jilted Lovers and broken hearts' gets her excited. She kicks and smiles during that one. It feels good to see my little ones dig the sounds I dig as well. The title of the session 'Got me on the run." is a line from one of the songs on the album. Just my way of noting the inspiration.

Its important to me to remember the music I play when I am making things.





See Full Session Here

Keepa runnin

so hard for the money...

I am wounded. This isn't the easiest "Job". I put my heart into these images. To me, each piece could be a canvas on the wall. It would be awesome - if I could just make art. It would be amazing NOT to have to think about getting paid... getting exposure. What a ball and chain its become, trying to make my passion a career. Its enough to make me want to quit, to just run away from it, and find something new.

{Side Note: Oh how much deeper I go with this. I could really let this entry rip with truth. Raw truth. The kind of truth we just don't expose. The kind we shouldn't expose. But of course I am hindered... by what seems like a joke when I think about it. Whats more important? Modesty...or truth.}

{2ND Side Note: It reoccurs to me, just how much my brain rambles about.}

-Anyway. I just need to start again. It was a rough patch. I'll tell myself, not to give up. I wish I had an image that fit with this entry.

Good times.

I was browsing through Utube earlier and came across a band called 'Gaslight anthem' - they're alright- They reminded me of another band I once LOVED...{high pitched voice}. That band is called 'Alkaline Trio'. Saw them live when I was 17 and it was one of the best shows I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot. Driving home from very long weekends of doing things I'll not mention here. ;) 9am. starving and sleep deprived. The mornings were breaths of fresh air. I'd play it loud and sing along knowing every single line. There was one song in particular that I played a lot. The one that started it all and leading me to the wild roller coaster ride that was The Alkaline trio. Here are a few of my favorites below, including the starter tune - 'Queen of Pain' (ignore the goofy lyrics. They don't have an official vid for this one.)



And a few selected faves:
My friend Peter
Goodbye Forever
Mr Chainsaw
All on Black

They have boatloads of music out. The new stuff I've never heard, but I'll now be exploring them all over again.

I am very good...

At scaring the shit out of myself. {According to my husband anyway}

I've always slept better in the day, when everyone else is awake {And alive} to see everything going on around me. When I think about what may be happening around me when I along with everyone else is asleep- I cringe wide eyed until I am bug eyed and exhausted, waiting for someone to wake up so I can go to sleep.